FEAR OF PEOPLE BY CHERRY STOLTZ

 FEAR OF PEOPLE

CHERRY STOLTZ ã 2006

We seldom see ourselves as others do. We never know ourselves as God does. Jesus promised that the truth would set us free. Discovering the truth about ourselves is often a painful and humiliating experience. Yet, we can leave things as they are and continue to stumble along in the dark, or we can choose to allow God to lift us up and free us: by His forgiving grace, total understanding, and limitless love. (John 8:36)

Healing our emotions and getting rid of fear starts with admitting our failings and facing up to our own dysfunctional behaviour and reactions to stress or hurt. We can do nothing to change another person’s behavior - but we can change our own and this will prevent us from being victims of abuse in the future.

Ask God to show you the truth about yourself, your behaviour and your reactions to hurt. He loves us and wants us to experience life in all its fullness.

I said that we can do nothing to change another person’s behaviour – only our own. This statement needs to be qualified by adding that our behaviour is always tied to our belief systems. If we believe we are worthless, we behave that way. If we believe we are a failure, we are sure to fail. If we believe we are unlovable, people find it difficult to love us because we withdraw. If people intimidate us, we present ourselves as a perfect target to those who need to control others. When we are anxious or depressed, we focus all our attention on our problems and fail to recognise that there is, always, a solution.

Abuse victims are just that - victims! Another word is ‘prey’. The Concise Oxford Dictionary (ã Oxford University Press 1990) uses the synonym ‘dupe’ – meaning ‘a victim of deception’.

It stands to reason, therefore, that when our distorted belief systems are brought into line with the truth (not our own perceptions), we will behave in a rational, sensible, confident manner. There is only one person who can tell us the truth – and He is Jesus Christ. In John 14:6, Jesus categorically stated that He is the way, the truth, and the life. Note that he did not say He would show us the way to truth and life but that He actually is those three! (John 10:7-10; Acts 4:11-12) He is God in human flesh and the Living Word (John 1:1-15). This explains why the Bible is the only book ever written that can really change lives - permanently. (Heb. 4:12)

Evil is real, as we know only too well! The devil is not some amusing character in red tights with horns and a trident. God loves us. Satan hates us! The penalty for sinning is eternal, spiritual death. (Rom. 6:23) This means spending eternity in a place where God (goodness) is not. Multiply every dreadful thing you have ever experienced on this earth by an infinite number and you may understand a little of what hell is like. (Matt. 25:41; 2 Thess. 1:9)

All men are born sinful – no one is righteous. (Rom. 3:10 & 22-23) It is impossible to please God by trying to be good because one, tiny sin is the same as breaking all the Ten Commandments. (James 2:10) Gaining eternal life is so simple but our pride stands firmly in the way, so we keep on trying to do better, sure we will get it right on our own one day! We are deceiving ourselves. Even before He created the universe, God knew we would all sin - but He is Love, so He had already made a plan to save us from the beginning. I think you must have guessed it by now. Yes, He died in your place! (Isaiah 53:4-6 & 10-12) God loves everyone equally; therefore He died for you too! (Heb. 7:27) No sin is too big for God to forgive. (Isaiah 1:18) Jesus understands our temptations, but offers the only solution to our dilemma. (Heb. 4:14-16)

Until we make a definite decision to believe this, we place ourselves under Satan’s dominion, whether we accept this fact or not. (John 3:18) God could easily make us obedient in a split second, but what sort of relationship would that be? A family of pre-programmed ‘robots’ who obey Him out of force instead of love would neither satisfy nor fulfill either party. He loves us passionately and desires that we do the same. All He asks is that we simply believe what He says, and accept in our hearts that Christ died in our place (a totally free gift) in order that we would not have to. (Num. 23:19) He created us with a free will, so we can choose to accept or reject His offer.

At first, this new revelation may be disturbing to you, but try thinking about it in the light of your role as the wife or child of a perfectly loving husband or father. You might find this difficult if you have never experienced such a close relationship in the past, but think of the sort of union you have dreamed about having, instead. If you were to consistently ignore, and perhaps hate, an incredibly wonderful husband or father, how would you ever be able to receive the love they offered? Their love would be consistent – but your frame of mind would prevent you from recognizing it. If you made a decision to respond to their love, things would change. You would open yourself up to being loved and accepting love - instead of rejecting it.

Ask Jesus to forgive you for all your sins and give Him permission to take over your life as Leader and Saviour from now on. He will then accept you as His own child and become your Father. (John 14:6-14; Rom. 8:2-4 & 15-17) Thank Him for what He has done and ask Him to make your salvation a reality in your life from now on. Quite honestly, what do you have to lose? (Psalm 34:8) He promises to provide everything you need to live a victorious life. (Matt. 6:31-33)

Exactly what is the truth, then? Are the hurtful things that people say about you true, even if you have messed up? Do you think God agrees with them? Does He judge you by what you do or who you are? Thankfully, it is only the latter! Let’s see what He has to say about it, once you are a His child:

*        You are a slave to God: a wonderful Master who loves you.      

          Rom. 6:22

*        You are God’s son/daughter and heir in every way possible.      

Rom. 8:14-17 & 23; 2 Cor. 6:18; Matt. 25:34;

*        You are Jesus’ friend.

          John 15:13-15

*        You are God’s delight.

          Psalm 37:23

*        You are righteous, cleansed from sin because of Christ’s sacrifice.

          Rom. 8:1; Ezek. 36:25-27; 1 Cor. 1:30

*        You are a royal priest.

          1 Peter 2:5,9

*        You are the recipient of eternal life in God’s Presence.

          1 Peter 1:3-4; Titus 3:7

*        You are Christ’s ransomed, freed from eternal death.

          Isaiah 35:10

*        You are a citizen of Heaven.

          Phil. 3:20; John 14:2-3

*        You are the light of the world and God’s witness.

          Matt. 5:14-16; Acts 1:8;

*        You are God’s Beloved.

          Eph. 2:4-5

*        You are a new creation.

          2 Cor. 5:17

*        You are God’s treasure.

          2 Cor. 4:7;

*        You are a member of Christ’s family.

          Gal. 3:28

*        You are created in God’s image.

          Gen. 1:27

*        You are God’s elect.

          1 Peter 1:2

*        You are Christ’s little lamb.

          Psalm 23:1; Isaiah 40:11; John 10:11;        

*        You are Christ’s ambassador.       

          2 Cor. 5:20

*        You are one in Christ Jesus

          Gal. 3:28

*        You are Christ’s bride

          Rev. 19:7, 21:2, 21:9 

You may not feel or behave like any of the above, but that does not change God’s truth about who you are, His truth is unchangeable and remains the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. The whole ‘secret’ of a victorious life is to believe what God says – because of who He is and what He has done, not how you feel. Human feelings and emotions are not the barometer by which we judge our position in Christ - they change by the day and are influenced by circumstances, our state-of-health, or our mood. This is wonderful news!