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THE LEADER & FAMILY : BY Dr Wole Gbogboade
  TEXT: 1Timothy 3:1-5
 
The high the position a leader assumes, the more exposed he is to dangers.
 
The spiritual leader especially is exposed to 3 main dangers in his/her ministry work:
1.       TIME: The pressure of work makes time very inadequate.  He/She has a lot of things, places and ministrations to make such that he needs God’s wisdom to be able to do exactly what God wants him/her to do and to be able to fulfill his/her ministry.  He/She often works for long hours, with irregular closing time.  Even, a circular leader faces similar time temptation.  He/She has to attend to seminars, assignments, meetings and day-today office and business related activities.  Without proper management of time, he cannot achieve his goal both in business and family life.  In the books of Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 time is mentioned 29 times.  No doubt, time management is essential to success in life and ministry even in business. 1 Tim. 3:2 you must be careful not to develop Messiah Complex. Ex. 18:13-18.  You need to delegate responsibilities.  Otherwise, you and your family may suffer for it. 1 King 19:1-18.
 
2.       TEMPERAMENT: This has to do with the nature of the leader.  Any leader who fails to control his temperament may develop bad temper as a result of time and work pressure. Prov. 22:24-25, pro. 14:17.
 
3.       TEMPTER: The devil surely is after the precious soul.  He often tempts leaders more with money, women and pride Matt. 4:1-11.  The leader needs to work on these avenues through which the enemy usually befalls mighty men.
 
There are negative result of success as we can see in the life of Elijah called burn-out.  He became so confused as a result of this phenomenon.  Samson fell by a woman while Demas fell because of love for this present world symbolizing money and what money can buy.   Finally, the bible says, be angry but sin not, let not sun go down with your wrath. Eph. 4:26.  All these may result in neglect of self, family, and God through sin of pride.  Eli was so busy; he could not communicate with his spouse or children 1 Sam. 2:22-25.
 
  "Let he who thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall” 1 COR. 10:12.
 
DEVELOP YOUR FAMILY BASE
 
Leaders must develop their family base for the following reasons:
 
1.       MANAGE – 1 Tim. 3:5 If any man does not know how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God”.
 
First and foremost, you are the priest at home before ministry. Gen. 18:19, 1 Tim. 3:4.
 
2.       CARE – 1 Tim. 5:8 If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
 
The leader must be a channel of blessing to his family first and foremost.
 
There are 4 different kinds of homes/family characterized by expectations of
the children and wife compared with support from the husband:
1.       Apathetic family
2.       Stressful family
3.       Pampered family
4.       Balanced family.
 
1.       APATHETIC HOME
The children have low expectations, needs and low support from the husband in form of care or commitment to the family’s needs as well as children upbringing.  The family members are indifferent and uncaring.
 
2.       STRESSFUL HOME
This is characterized by high expectation and low support.  The home becomes tensed up as well as suicidal.  The result is that children in such homes become distressed, fearful and oppressed.  They can result to running errand for neighbours for food.  Furthermore, it may have negative effect on their mental faculty or reasoning.
 
3.       PAMPERED HOME
Low expectation with high support.  The children receive far more than they need.  They become petty and indulgent with the result that they are spoilt.  There is overwhelming leaning on the part of the children to their parents without whom they may find it difficult to find their feet or fend for themselves.
 
 
4.       BALANCED HOME
This home is characterized by high expectation and high support.  The children are confident and affirmed.  The result is that their intelligence quotients become high.  They are blessed children with high moral value.
 
God’s will is the balanced home.  To build a balanced home therefore, the biblical principles must be followed tenaciously.
 
EPHESIANS 5:21-6:4
Since we cannot expect without supporting, and vice versa, it becomes imperative that spouses’ relationship should be reciprocal.
 
(a)              Husband: Love his wife vs. 25, 28, 33
                Lead his family vs. 23.
 
(b)             Wife: Submit to her husband vs. 22, 24
          Respect her husband vs. 33.
 
(c)              Both: To submit to God v. 21.
 
i.        The greatest need of a woman is love from her husband while that of a man from the wife is respect.
ii.       Men need to understand their wife.
iii.      Women love to give detail account.  The woman also appreciates gifts no matter how small it is, from her husband. 1 Pet. 3:7.
iv.      Women are quite emotional being while men are logical beings.  It is important to be patient with each other to be able to agree. Amos 3:3.
 
          (d)     Husband, wife & children relationship Eph. 6:1-4
                   Children: To obey their parents vs. 1
                                   To honour them vs. 2
 
                   Parents: Not to provoke their children to wrath vs 4 (a)
                   They are suppose to nurture the children in God’s way vs. 4 (b) Deut. 6:6-7.
 
e.       SPOKEN WORD: Gen. 48:15-16, Eph. 4:29, pro. 18:21
          It is important that parents speak words of blessings into the life of their children.  Usually, when a man is getting married to his wife, he shows care and love.  It is imperative that such love be bestowed on the wife always.
 
f.       LAY HANDS: Parents should always pray for their children.  You can lay hands on the children to bless them. Matt. 19:14-15.
 
g.       SPECIAL FUTURE: God is not only interested in the present of your family.  He is also interested in the future more so, future generations.  As far as God is concerned trans-generational blessings are for His people.  Therefore, Parents should be mindful of this fact.  And pray for their children’s children even now. II Tim. 1:5-6, Gen. 13:14 – 15, Gen. 49:28.
 
h.      ACTIVE COMMITMENT to the family.  Husband and wife are supposed to show much commitment to their marriage especially children in order to raise successful children with godly character.  Success without a successor is a failure.  If Abraham failed to bring up Isaac properly, how can he explain that to God?  The ministry of Eli couldn’t continue after his death because of his children.  Therefore, success in ministry or business may be limited, impeded or destroyed through carelessness in family commitment.
          It will yield eternal dividend if we give adequate attention, love and care to our family.
 
Unity: Unity in family brings blessings Isa.8:18, Gen. 18:19 b, Matt. 19:4-6.  Unity makes you fulfill God’s command of monogamy.  Terrible problems come when we deviate from God’s word.  Every Ishmael will dent your Isaac while every Hagar will mock your Sarah.  Therefore, cast out the bondwoman and her child now, repent and follow God’s blessed word.  Let us lay a good foundation for our children and our generations yet unborn to build on.  God’s trans-generational blessings are yours. Amen.
 
Training: Train or disciple both your wife and children.  Even if she’s not called, she’ll be able to effectively help you in ministry.
 
Self Control:  Our Lord Jesus in His ministry on earth was always with the disciples particularly John, Peter and James.  This helped Him against temptations.  He Himself was tempted in all areas, but never fell Heb. 4:15.  If Samson had gone to Gaza with somebody else, he would not fall Eccl. 4:9-10.
 
Dr Wole Gbogboade
Word of Salvation Publication
P.O.Box 7572,
Ikeja (100001)
Nigeria
Tel.: +2348033250375, +234-18940823.
 
 
Jesus loves you and so do I. JESUS IS THE ANSWER!!
Category: My articles | Added by: THE_SHEPHERD (2011-11-18) | Author: Steven Liberty Sr. E
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and the right of the poor. I know that the LORD will maintain because the LORD is his refuge. HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE Global Special HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE and not despise their prayer. He will regard the prayer of the de Hell HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE Pope free Read SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI Life SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI peace prayer Road Law Believe Father Spirit hatred poems Talents Gifts love faith death teach THE CHILDREN OF HAITI NEED YOUR LOV Knowledge DO UNTO HAITI AS YOU EXPECT PEOPLE praises COMFORT THE PEOPLE OF HAITI IN THES Earth Restoration HAITI NEEDS YOUR LOVE CARE FOOD SHE Teacher HELP RELIEVE THE SUFFERING PEOPLE O Grace live joy HOME Past grow Growth Bible Truth hope Seek thanks church Lead bless Heavens Strong Mercy power idea People Rest Sound come ask Clear Know give clean Betray garden HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NEED YOU :HELP HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI PICK UP TH HELP THE CHILDREN OF HAITI CLIMB OV REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NEED YOU NOW MO GOD SPARE MY LIFE FOR A PURPOSE : H RESPONDING TO THE PLIGHT OF THE PEO THE MOTHERS OF HAITI NEEDS YOU NOW THE HOMELESS IN HAITI NEED YOU MORE REACH OUT TO THE HOMELESS FAMILIES REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD IN TAKIN REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD IN TAKIN
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and the right of the poor. I know that the LORD will maintain because the LORD is his refuge. HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE Global Special HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE and not despise their prayer. He will regard the prayer of the de Hell HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE Pope free Read SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW IN THE SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI Life SEND HELP TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI peace prayer Road Law Believe Father Spirit hatred poems Talents Gifts love faith death teach THE CHILDREN OF HAITI NEED YOUR LOV Knowledge DO UNTO HAITI AS YOU EXPECT PEOPLE praises COMFORT THE PEOPLE OF HAITI IN THES Earth Restoration HAITI NEEDS YOUR LOVE CARE FOOD SHE Teacher HELP RELIEVE THE SUFFERING PEOPLE O Grace live joy HOME Past grow Growth Bible Truth hope Seek thanks church Lead bless Heavens Strong Mercy power idea People Rest Sound come ask Clear Know give clean Betray garden HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NOW FOR TH THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NEED YOU :HELP HELP THE PEOPLE OF HAITI PICK UP TH HELP THE CHILDREN OF HAITI CLIMB OV REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI THE PEOPLE OF HAITI NEED YOU NOW MO GOD SPARE MY LIFE FOR A PURPOSE : H RESPONDING TO THE PLIGHT OF THE PEO THE MOTHERS OF HAITI NEEDS YOU NOW THE HOMELESS IN HAITI NEED YOU MORE REACH OUT TO THE HOMELESS FAMILIES REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD IN TAKIN REACH OUT TO THE CHILDREN OF HAITI JOIN THE REST OF THE WORLD IN TAKIN